Things We Lost In The Fire

One thing I lost in the fire – any respect for the band Blind Melon.

I should point out that this is a metaphorical fire that occurred in and around my sense of cynicism. Said fire was also round abouts ’94.

I saw a flyer on my way to work this morning, advertising an upcoming Blind Melon show. Okay, what? First of all, the lead singer died like the fucking rock cliché that he was. Second, are there people out there clamoring for a triumphant return of Blind Melon? I don’t know who they have filling ol’ Mr. Overdose’s shoes, but does anyone hear echoes of Van Halen with the schmuck from Extreme? Do they sound like the screams of integrity being slaughtered? Thirdly, the flyer contained a picture of “The Bee Girl”…

I trail off because I cannot explain how… dumb this is.

Do you know what the remaining members of The Doors did after their lead singer took a trip down rock cliché way? Well, nothing really, except spend whatever camera time they could covet talking about their days as Doors. To be fair, Ray Manzerek did produce 2 awesome X albums. I’d heard that they were reforming with the guy from The Cult, or Danzig, singing for Morrison. I can’t remember if it actually happened, because it’s dumb. But at least with them it was The Doors, they were the dark lords of pop, they backed the Lizard King, they spoke to full legions of stoned and depressed college freshmen. Blind Melon’s claim to fame is an annoyingly poppy song sung with an annoyingly high and nasal voice whose video featured a girl dressed like a bee.

Okay, your singer’s got a little problem with the old cook cook shoot it up and rolls the dice one too many times, but you as a band aren’t ready to call it quits (over ten years later)? I’m not saying to stop playing, but seriously start a new band, and for fucks sake, use a new marketing gimmick.

Joy Division rearranged band duties and focus on keyboards to become New Order. Dave Grohl didn’t let a little self inflicted shotgun death keep him from starting himself a popular little band called The Foo Fighters.

But, I guess it’s gotta be tough to crawl out from beneath the shadow of Shannon Hoon…