I can't remember exactly when I became a fan of Jones Soda, if pressured by some enraged looking Cossack with a rusty bayonet, I would probably say it was the blue Bubble Gum flavored soda that won me over. I am a fan of both odd flavored soda and foods that are blue. But it was the fan picture posted on a bottle of root beer, one of a Port-a-Potty apparently named Biffy, which enamored forever.
Jones Soda operates out of the Seattle area here. When we first moved up here, there was a job posting for them that I applied for but didn't get. They also introduced their holiday flavors around this time. A limited supply, 5 pack of holiday themed sodas which included the flavors: Turkey and Gravy Soda, Green Bean Casserole Soda, Mashed Potato and Butter Soda, Cranberry Soda and Fruitcake Soda.
I learned about it too late to find any in the store and it stuck in the back of my mind in that hateful file of regret. Effing Turkey and Gravy Soda? I had to try that shit!
I don't know what happened exactly, but I missed the last holiday offering as well: Turkey and Gravy, Broccoli Casserole, Smoked Salmon Pate, Corn on the Cob and Pecan Pie.
However, on a beer run with Eric, I saw the majestic packaging up above all of that beer; the 2006 edition:
Turkey and Gravy, Dinner Roll, Sweet Potato, Pea and Antacid.
The first sip of the Turkey and Gravy proved to be... disturbing. Instead of the sweetness that accompanies a swig of soda, there was a wash of salt. It took a lot to get your mind around it. And beyond that, it didn't really seem to taste much like turkey and/or gravy. Mercedes nailed it when she said that it tasted like Slime.
Remember Slime?
I effing loved slime! Chemical smelling goop in a plastic trash can. I cannot explain what the god damn fascination was, but I wanted some Slime so damn bad. And I never got any... As the years progressed, they also introduced Slime with worms in it, Slime with eyeballs in it...
So yeah, the Turkey and Gravy did sort of taste like what Slime generally smelled like. I moved onto the Dinner Roll. Again, the non-sweet, uber salty made me wince because of years of programmed soda expectance. This was mildly better than the Turkey and Gravy, you could taste the butter, but still so salty it made old sailors seem tame.
The Sweet Potato was at least sweet, but it did have the flavor of a tuber. It was okay, not something I would buy on a regular basis, or probably at all, but it did at least taste close to the item it was supposed to approximate. It did also unfortunately lead to a Sweet Potato vs. Yam discussion which can, if you've ever found yourself in one, last much longer than you'd ever want.
As the flu came back from hiding around this time, I have been nervous about continuing on with the Pea Soda, so it still sits in the fridge unopened. I am curious though, very curious indeed.
And I'm pretty sure I know what that pink Antacid flavor is going to taste like, and I have to say that I feel a little jipped in the desert soda department, the Pecan Pie Soda sounds good.
No!vember song of the day: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones.
9 comments:
It worries me that Mercedes knows what slime tastes like
Bill, I have always loved that song title... It is like there is a secret joke but you are told the punchline before the joke even starts, then you have to read backwards into the title to see what the joke is. It is freaking joke jeopardy:
Alex, I will take Satisfaction for 400.. "what is I can't get no?"
Ok, that was officially taken too far. But in the spirit of the post, I think it is oddly appropriate.
I think your next flavor excursion should be in the realm of Harry Potter Jelly Bellies (Bertie Bott's Flavor Beans).
http://jellybelly.com/Cultures/en-US/Fun/Flavor+Guides/Bertie+Botts+Flavor+Guide.htm
... oh, and here is some Effen Vodka to wash the taste down of that effen slime that you love.
http://www.bevmo.com/productinfo.asp?sku=00000069339&sasrc=HomeNav&No=20&N=168+40+4294962058+31&Nr=Store%3A54&Nr=Store%3A54&area=spirits
I coveted Slime so much that my friend Marlis and I stole a can of it. Then we cut school and went to her dad's house and told him we had the day off.
When I got home I got grounded and the Slime was taken away....but not before I got a little taste of it.
dear kc! - ever hear of effen tinyurl? sheesh. http://tinyurl.com/ycyum6
Bill, if you say yams and sweet potatoes are the same thing I will punch you in the face. After years of confusion, I've finally realized what I was put on this planet for...the Sweet Potato Coalition. The USDA's blatant abuse of the term "sweet potato" must end and it is my job to make that happen. It will be great, I'll sell t-shirts and coffee mugs, bumper stickers (because these tubers to not run!), and maybe even little plastic sweet potato figures people can put in their cubicles. Oh, and bracelets, bracelets everywhere! I'm takin' it to the streets! Who's with me?
See above for aforementioned "sweet potato vs. yam" discussion...
In the South, they use the terms "yam" and "sweet potato" interchangably. Where I grew up, yams and sweet potatoes are different, and have different labels in the supermarkets. Imagine my dismay when I came home from the market in New Orleans with yams instead of sweet potatoes. As previously discussed with Billy, I hate yams. Maybe they should call sweet potatoes "not yams".
Tiny URLs are for pussies. So are yams.
Sweet potatoes 4 life, yo.
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