500

Hey there everyone I'm feeling pretty darn good today despite my three in the morning concerns that the Irish Car Bomb I really didn't need was going to make for a fairly hellish morning but I'm feeling good I'm feeling happy and I'm feeling optimistic and I've got two kinda large auditions coming up that I'm actually excited about which is a nice change I spent a couple of minutes talking to my dad this morning who is looking down the barrel of his last day of a job he's spent the last thirty-three years giving his all to and he told me that I was the one who took the brunt of his diving into his job and that he would like to have those years back and do things differently and while a younger version of me would have loved to hear my father squirming and looking for absolution this made me a little sad to know that I could tell him all day long that I know he did the best he could and no longer honestly held any ill will towards him but he still has a chunk of regret in his soul that I never want to experience we shared goodbyes as I was walking past a cathedral in the neighborhood that felt like one of those bits of mise en scene we would talk about in a film class and how wrought with meaning it all was and then I thought about how much I hated it when a fellow student said the words mise en scene and then I looked at the head of some poppies that had yet to bloom and immediately thought about a church running the heroin circus in Seattle and it's fairly amazing how quickly the posts and days pile up like a massive sentence that just keeps running and I'm shooting at the walls of heatache bang bang I'm going to harden my heart I'm going to swallow my tears turn around bright eyes every now and then I fall apart the guy in the ill fitting suit and long greasy hair walking ahead of me I wanted to reach out my hands and give him a pat on the shoulders and tell him to go have a great day and the person who I couldn't tell if they were a handsome woman in a suit or a pretty boy with longish hair so that I had to sneak a second look and would have gone for a third if I wasn't afraid of being caught staring and I wanted to tell them that boy or girl they were beautiful and just all the people I want to tell that it's going to be alright below is a picture I got asking for an image of five hundred I think it's pretty I wonder if the world were really this colorful if we wouldn't get bored of it song stuck in my head right now time by bowie