Alabanas Saves The World

Alabanas kept with him a child like sense of humor well into his now late twenties. In fact his real name was Nathan, but like a funny yet obstinate child, he insisted everyone call him Alabanas. Some people thought it was his silly way when he simply would not answer to Nathan, they thought he was just being funny, but he had honestly forgotten that Nathan was the name that he was born with.

A huge fan of practical jokes, Alabanas would go to incredible lengths to trick or surprise his friends, sometimes even complete strangers. In fact just now, he had spent about seven hours in the two hundred yard stretch of woods behind his apartment complex digging a hole. Alabanas went out there with a shovel just as dawn was dawning and persistently dug a shallow hole into a slight hill, just big enough for him to crawl into.

The original plan was to create this make shift cave, cover the opening with moss and turf and huckleberry bushes, hide inside (for hours if necessary) only to jump out and scare Eliza when she would inevitably come out to the woods looking for him. Oh man, it was a great plan, he would laugh until he couldn't breathe anymore.

It may be a good time to mention that Alabanas had a fairly serious problem with his short term memory, he would up and forget things just like that. Some people thought that he was genetically predisposed to this, his mom had gone a bit off and had to be locked up for awhile. Some people thought that this damage to his memory was from the massive amount of psychotropic drugs he had ingested in his teens. Maybe it was a mix of the two, but the issue is that Alabanas had dug his hole, had crawled inside to wait, and had immediately forgotten the point of this whole endeavor. Alabanas also had a pretty lively imagination which tended to jump out and fill in the spaces of memory decay.

Napping a bit after the hard work of digging a hole, Alabanas awoke wondering why the fuck he was hidden away in a wet hole in the dirt. And then he remembered; the Falggerjuhns, a vicious breed of humanoid like creatures from a planet 4 galaxies away, had taken over Earth. He was the only human left alive for all he knew and it was up to him to rescue the world.

Oh yeah, Nathan cum Alabanas also had delusions of grandeur. He jumped up from the breakfast table one morning and ran shouting through the streets that he was the true son of God. Thankfully, he forgot all this about ten minutes later.

But now he crouched below a thin shelf of soil, eyeing out through the thin camouflage of shrubbery that he had made, looking for those foul beasts with five arms and a head made up mostly of a pulsing eyeball. He would not let the Falggerjuhns take him and make him a slave in their sex mines; Falggerjuhn sex involved a lot of raw, ripped open flesh. He would not go down without a fight, he would do his best to drive the alien scum from his planet.

He moved slowly, trying not to make a sound that would alert a Falggerjuhn scout, and reached into his pocket to search for any kind of weapon he may be carrying. He felt the pocket knife that he kept stashed in his pants and slowly, quietly, pulled it out of his pocket and opened the blade. He suddenly smiled a vicious smile, he could hear one of them coming up the path towards him...