Donner, Party of Two...

I awoke to the snow coming down in soft, falling flurries. The streets and sidewalks were covered in luxurious white, showing me that we had received more snow last night than previously. I was in turns excited by the walk to work in and through the snow, as well as nervous about once again slipping and falling to the middle of the street like some over anxious invalid tangoing on a freshly mopped floor.

There's something about the dampening effects of snow, about that odd quiet it affords, that brings me right back to childhood. The tendrils of snow clinging to bare branches of trees seemed so beautiful that it was making the nerves of falling seem like an adequate price to pay.

There were a couple of minor slips on the snow that had been packed down by cars, and the ice lying treacherously beneath it, but thankfully no falls. I watched the flakes come down through the buildings downtown and smiled when they lightly tickled my face. The walk was going so well.

But then when I rounded the corner of 1st and headed into downtown proper, it began to come down harder, and I realized at a street corner that I was trapped.

I got in under the shelter of an awning with a few other pitiful souls. Panic began to set in with a couple of them, but I was managing to stay calm. Luckily, I was carrying to work two boxes of Nature Valley Soft Granola Bars with Yogurt. This is not an endorsement, they were 2 for $6 at Safeway. I realized with rationing, I should be able to survive for at least a week.

I was going to need to do something about the warmth situation. I had my nice, warm old man coat on, but come nightfall that wind was going to whip in from the Sound and freeze us solid. There were a number of newspaper dispensers nearby, free newspapers (thank you very much Seattle Rental Guide) that would make ready fuel for a fire, the doorway of the restaurant hopefully providing a break from the wind.

But then it happened, the panic weasel got loose. I started to sweat, thinking to myself that I was going to eventually need more protein, more sustenance than Nature Valley was going to offer. I looked around the others huddled from the falling snow and realized that something had come true that I had only joked about at slumber parties and ice cream socials; I would eat another human being if I had to.

A young sales exec, who I had in my mind named Tad, was going to be my first pick. He was lean and stupid; good eating and unaware of my advances with a Swiss Army knife.

But as suddenly as I had been trapped, I was rescued. The little white crosswalk man lit up and I made my way across Union.