Family Matters

You don't get to choose your family, they're thrust on you, or you on them. You can try to escape as far as possible, but those ties run so deep that you'll never get away. You can spend your life in a fierce haze of denial about it, but all of that socialization running through lines long with generational knowledge will eventually come calling.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, these binding blood ties. You cannot choose your family, but I believe you get the family you need. Your family either provides the lessons needed, or forces you to learn them yourself by denying the opportunity. As I get older and a little more comfortable in this skin of mine, I'm able to let slide a lot of the family aggravations that would have had me foaming in an epileptic fit of spite before. I'm able to see my family as sometimes a necessary evil, but most times a fairly comfortable haven built of my own history.

But right now, I'm particularly proud and smitten of the family I have chosen. I am feeling what unconditional love is, and how powerful you can feel when you've got that behind you. I'm loving the mad moments of ecstasy when all of our gears mesh fucking spot on, and I'm even loving those moments when the gears break down and we see one or more of us at our worst and either let it slide or gather together to bend down to pick up and dust off who has fallen.

I love that it truly is a life long journey, a little melancholy that this will never be enough time.

But damn it all, I'll take what I can get CBGB, I'll take what I can get.