Sperms Of Endearment

Speaking of 4 and a half minute cum shots…

Wait. Sorry. No one was, but I’ve already started down that path.

A weird thing that I was talking to some friends about the other day; when I was in high school, me and a bunch of my friends – male friends – would all get together and watch porn.

It was typically at Damon’s place as his mother was typically either out of town or so out of it she wouldn’t notice 6 or 7 teenagers in her place, and there was typically beer. Well, there were typically wine coolers the first few times as we hadn’t developed a taste for anything that didn’t resemble Fanta left to ferment in a Southern California garage. At the time, nothing seemed strange about a gaggle of guys, done up on illicit booze and hormones, sitting around together and watching people acting poorly and fucking hard. It was this strange thrill of doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. Now, looking back on it, it seems a little odd to me, a little strange.

I would like to end this with some teenaged misunderstanding – a sexy misunderstanding – but there’s nothing. I wish there was a tale of one of us discovering something about ourselves…

Wait. There was that guy John. You know, the 22 year old hanging out with a bunch of 17 year olds. I don’t remember how he ended up orbiting our circle except that he at one time dated our drum major. On one of these porn nights, while if I’m not mistaken we sat on Damon’s couch and watched some guy getting blown in a hot tub, John suddenly busted out with:

“You guys only hang out with me because I can buy you beer.”

We all sat looking at him for a minute, no one refuting it, but no one brave enough to admit to it for fear that our alcohol supply would dry up. After an uncomfortable silence, we all went back to watching Intergalactic Hookers, or whatever.

And so that sad day John learned a little something about himself; that he had no friends and we only put up with him as he would occasionally show up with a half rack and a bottle of root beer schnapps.

I guess I also learned a little something that day; I no longer watch porn with my friends.