It's All In The Slow Burn Seduction And Kisses

So, I was talking to Kelly Bean this morning about prostitutes.

Part of me wants to offer up more explanation to that sentence, but a greater part want to just let it ride. Anyway, I had asked her if I seemed like the sort of person who would go to a prostitute. She said I seemed like the sort of person who in the past had gotten a little nutty, and the possibility is always there.

I will say for the record, I have never entertained the idea of paying for a prostitute. I've never fantasized about it, nor has it occurred to me that it's something you can just do. I remember realizing that you could get Whip-Its at the "tobacco" shop up the street and sitting at home thinking, "shit, I can just go up the street and get some hippy crack to do!" It was a large moment. And while I know where there are prostitutes, I've never had that moment of, "shit, I can just go down and pay for some quick and dirty sex."

I’m certainly not a prude, my issue with it, aside from the health issues and denigration of women, is that for something to be sexy to me, for something to be erotic, the other person needs to be into it. Not faking it for money, but they want to be there, at that moment, with me. Sorry to be so frank here, but my imagination works really well and if there's a need for quick, one way sex, I've known how to masturbate for well over 20 years now, I do it well... And I guess this is why strippers bug the piss out of me, I find nothing - and let me say this isn't just a politically correct, left-leaning man talking here - I mean nothing, titillating or erotic about strippers. I've never had that typical and idiotic male fantasy of wanting to date a stripper or porn star.

And while it's on my mind, let's talk about the movie Pretty Woman for a second. What the fuck? A rich guy gets a prostitute, a pretty prostitute, and trains her and dresses her up to pretend to be a well-heeled lady. He then marries this prostitute.

Okay, seriously, read that synopsis again.

Disney released this movie; an updated Cinderella story, literally. Cinderella was an overworked younger sister (with mice for friends) though, not a whore selling sex for money. There's a moment I remember quite clearly when I moved into the house in Santa Barbara, and that's Corado thanking me for not dragging a video copy of Pretty Woman into the house. His point was that at the time, nearly everyone had a copy of this movie. And I guess the movie gives a nice ending to a hooker's story rather than what typically happens with a death on the streets due to ill health, overdose or murder.

And here comes my nicely outlined summary to this post:
1) **Obligatory Back-Peddling** If a woman (or man) wants to be a prostitute, so be it. I think it's a little sad, but then there are plenty of people who think that adjusting bogus damage claims for a corporation is a little sad - myself included. And hey, I too am selling my time for money...

2) I don't find the idea of sex with a hooker entertaining, not even for the "forbidden" factor.

3) Pretty Woman sucks ass.


Zeptember song of the day: Whole Lotta Love.