Two States (A Slight Return)

I came across this while I was checking my email. Apparently archeologists have unearthed a pair of people near Rome buried together in an embrace.


And this is a prime example of the two warring sides of my personality: The sarcastic, cynical side and the hopeless, emotion driven, romantical side.

At first I thought, "Well you internet news guys, your timing is all wrong, you should have saved this story for closer to Valentine's Day. It probably could have sold more cards."

And then I thought, "Aww, it's like when you went and saw Titanic on Christmas Eve, all done up on enough scotch to kill a sheep (a Scottish sheep no less) and with an arsenal of beer bottles on hand, and got to the part with the old couple in their room when the room started to flood and they just held onto each other and ended up dying in each other's arms. And you cried your eyes out and blamed it on being drunk, but really it's because you’re a softy. Admit it bitch, these two skeletons make you think of eternal love."

And then I thought, "Wait a minute; it's like anthropomorphizing a dog, assuming that you know what a dog is thinking by comparing it to human thought processes. These anthropologists have no idea what was actually happening to these two, 5000 years ago. My guess is that one of them knew a sudden death was on its way and wanted to get a final 'F you' in to their significant other." Here is how I imagine the conversation going:

"Hey Messalina, can you come over here and tell me if there's anything in my teeth."
"Hang on Longinus, tilt your head up towards the light a little bit."
As he grabs her tightly around the shoulders, "Ah hah! I told you if I died I was going to take you with me!"
"Dick."

So, cynical wins out this time, but check out how I threw anthropomorphizing in there. I love that word!
Oh, and for those who had no idea what I was talking about yesterday, here's Li'l Cletus:



Confidential To Panda Girl: I feel like I haven't seen you in years and I miss ya.