How Many Gears Are On This Thing?

I was walking to my desk, past one of the ubiquitous meeting rooms with the semi opaque doors. Inside the room I could see a young and handsome man sitting alone at the table. He was wearing a suit, and on the lapel was one of the tell tale, white, computer generated visitor badges. He was probably waiting on an interviewer. He looked up as I passed with this swirling mix of apprehension and anticipation.

At first I sort of felt sorry for him, that nervousness must be making him feel a little light headed, a little sick to his stomach. But then I just got this over-whelming urge to mess with him a little bit.

I wanted to open the door introduce myself as Jonas Shea and firmly shake his hand. I wanted to ask him a series of non-sequiturs:
"What's your power animal?"
"List the top 3 favorite crimes you have committed and why"
"If you could gain the power to fly by betraying your best friend, would you do it? What if you only flew 2 feet off the ground and really slowly?"

But I only flashed him a commiserating smile he probably couldn't see and continued on towards my desk. Man, this coffee tastes good.

Last night I was having a lot of difficulty dropping off to sleep. I tried using a technique I had used in acting training to quiet my mind. I closed my eyes and focused on the little blueish lights that live on the inside of my eyelids. I will usually watch the shapes sort of expand and contract until I can no longer hear all the chatter of my brain.

So last night I'm watching these blue blobs do their thing when said blob becomes an anthropomorphic, purple cartoon thing. It turned into a roundish smiling face with legs. It looked like the sort of thing some marketing genius would use to peddle juice substitute to small children. This thing, I'll call him Anthony (for no real reason whatsoever) appeared in a well appointed loft with a couple of attractive twenty-somethings.

Anthony talked to them in a ridiculously high-pitched voice and these two responded to him as if he weren't a cartoon. They did occasionally look over his body/head and give each other knowing glances that said as soon as Anthony stepped out to get a pack of smokes, they were going to discuss how ridiculous they really thought he was.

I can't remember anything the Ikea hags or Anthony were talking about, but I do remember the young man of the duo saying, "Remember what John Waters told you?"

I opened my eyes at that point trying to remember what it was that John Waters had told me. It took a minute to realize that he hadn't told me anything as I have never met John Waters - despite having a lay over in Baltimore once.

Yup, sleepy time is serious fun time for me lately…


Song Stuck In My Head Right Now: Paranoid Android by Radiohead.