Watching The Tide Roll Away

For some reason it feels like a Wednesday. Today has that sort of soft around the corners feeling that a Wednesday has. I can nail myself down to knowing that it is not Wednesday by reminding myself that that I'm not carrying around a vague hangover that comes with the Tuesday night bowling. I can only imagine that a version of myself in another dimension, a dimension with some sort of international date line, is sitting in a hotel room and trying intently to figure out if from where he's at, if his friend's birthday is today or tomorrow. I'm just getting the fall out...

Not that I have to deal with this at my job or anything, but if you walk into a glass door, I have absolutely no empathy for you whatsoever. In fact, in most normal circumstances, I would be laughing in a very hysterical and non-socially acceptable way at you. And seriously, if you want to complain to the corporate headquarters that owns the building about the fact that you walked into a glass door - and again, this is certainly nothing that I have to deal with at my job - I have to remind you that you essentially walked into a wall. You should have evolved past the stage where you are walking into solid objects, no matter what the opacity is. And for fuck's sake, shit happens to the best of us; chalk it up to an embarrassing mistake and let it ride.

And again, not that these sort of things happen to me at work, but a coworker and I were discussing the benefits of a new program I'm pondering. For everyone that I have to suppress laughing at because they have say walked into a glass door, or tripped over something large and metal and painted green and that is clearly in front of them on the patio, or burned themselves because they thought it was a great idea to drink a piping hot beverage out of a paper cup while aggressively fighting the morning gridlock, I want to try to slightly convince them to off themselves.

If you have not evolved to a point where you cannot look where you’re going, or keep yourself out of easily avoided dangerous situations, and then to make matters worse you shift the blame away from yourself and threaten a lawsuit, I say you are adding nothing to our gene pool except clumsiness and a bitchy attitude.

I am suggesting we begin a program of hypno-induced keywords, like in the movies when a normal guy gets a telephone call, hears a snippet of music (let's say (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay as performed by Otis Redding) and suddenly becomes a commie spy. Only in this case, you Suzy Spillsalot start screaming about a lawyer and I quietly, and in a nice game show announcer type voice, say the word "Darwin" and you throw yourself from someplace high.

It really benefits everyone when you think about it...

And in closing, here is the saddest thing I have read yet today:
[Scooter] Libby faces up to 30 years in prison, though under federal sentencing guidelines likely will receive far less.

May corruption and lack of responsibility reign supreme.


Confidential to Mike: It was great seeing you again, I'm sorry it was only for like 20 minutes. I hope Kirkland treats you well.