Below the Surface

I once had this dream where I was at this deserted lake house. I walked down to the lake, thick and purple storm clouds hanging heavy overhead, and jumped in. As dreams don’t necessarily take a linear path, I don’t remember the actual swimming out, but I do remember realizing I was way out in the water.

I was swimming hard, an almost flailing crawl stroke, and when my hand came down to cut through the water it struck something. I stopped swimming, treading water and trying to look through the surface to see what I had hit. Floating about two feet below the surface was a corpse staring up at me with eyes like full moons.

There was a desperate feeling of panic and I began swinging around in the water when I realized that I was completely surrounded by underwater corpses at various depths and states of decay. Looking out over the surface, towards the horizon, I could see water logged hands reaching for anything, the curves of skulls partially hidden by soaking hair and water snakes.

I was freaking out, but saw a motor boat coming my way, loaded with smiling and laughing friends. I frantically waved at them, screaming for them to come pick me up, but they kept motoring on their way. There was a gleam of perverse delight in their eyes as they knowingly left me floating among hundreds of bodies.

This is a dream that disturbed me for many weeks. In fact, the core of it still manages to bother me a bit. I attributed it to my fear and fascination of things hidden below water; thoughts of whole towns flooded by reservoirs throughout California.

I told a friend about this dream and he mentioned that it probably deals with some issue I’m keeping hidden, and even my friends cannot help me deal with it.

Well, I’m ready to spill the secret: I really want to fuck a bear before I die.