It was snacktime! Snacktime everybody! I ran upstairs to the in-building restaurant/organic snack mart to get some chippies. I was excited, I was squirrel excited, I was squirrel all done up on squirrel meth excited. Why the hell was I so excited? Because it was snacktime people, pay attention!
I got me some cheddar beer Kettle chips. Now cheddar beer... I see that on a bottle and I'm staying the hell away from it, I see it as a soup and I may forego the French fries for a cup of it, I see it as a crispy potato chip and I'm ready to rip that bag open, rub those chips all over my naked flesh and then fuck the bag.
How were they? They were okay.
But, I saw this guy that looked exactly like Michael J. Pollard up there, exactly. Who the hell is Michael J. Pollard? He was in Bonnie & Clyde. He was in Scrooged. He has curly blond hair and sort of looks like a cherub, or the cartoon version of a man-boy brought to flesh and blood life. I don't know why I have a fixation with Michael J. Pollard, I assume it's because I have a fixation with the movie Scrooged.
I think that Michael's look-alike felt a little uncomfortable with me staring at him, my bag of cheddar beer chips shaking furiously in my hand.
Outside the store where I bought my snacks stood one of those Coinstar machines where you feed it in all your loose change and you get most of that money back in paper form. The side of the machine said, "Turning your change into cash!" I actually pulled to a stop and said aloud to whoever could hear, "correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't change already cash?"
Seriously, inconvenient cash, but cash nonetheless. Where's the machine that turns my change into anti-matter, or lava contained in Plexiglas, or blowjobs, or Michael J. Pollard?
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2 comments:
Shannon L-O-V-E-S the beer cheddar chips. Which is strange because she really doesn't have a taste for beer. Then again she could eat gigantic blocks of cheddar every meal of the day. Nevertheless, we go through bags of those chips. When they are on sale, we buy shopping carts full of them.
Delicious I tell you.
Bill, I would wait on the beer cheddar. Give them a couple of hours to sneak back up on your taste buds. THAT is the deadliest hour of tast flavor. The aftershock. I garuntee you will want more. What if I am wrong? Then I will gladly take your leftovers.
oooh. scrooged.
at least we agree on something!
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