Wednesday Morning Meltdown

As Lux Interior of The Cramps (covering a band called The Sonics (from Tacoma, WA of all places)) said: "Some folks like water, some folks like wine, but I like the taste of straight strychnine"

I'm not sure what that means except that today I feel like my head is a camera, and everywhere I go involves a big, Kubrik-ian wide-angled, tracking shot. I don't feel high necessarily, but if 40 year old fan boy came up on me with his creepy smile and whispered that he dosed my cup of Kenyan coffee with really low grade acid, I would believe him.

I feel like I keep slowly looking over my shoulder to see if people are watching, or trying to get my attention. I feel like talking to coworkers will lead to some sort of fracas. I feel like I should be injecting aloe vera gel intravenously. I feel like rubbing a fistful of risotto into the face of the sole "dude" in our row; I mean not very well made risotto, why waste a fistful of risotto. I feel like I should never again be allowed to use the word fracas.

While I was walking into the work kitchen to fill my coffee mug, I saw a young lady walking out with a Big Grab bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. She was looking down at that bag like she'd won some sort of snack food prize. She looked at those Doritos like they were gold; shitty, trans-fatty gold. I nearly collapsed to my knees, weeping tears of joy at the sheer beauty what she saw there.

Dude, I am going to ride this crazy train to the end of the effing line!