Oh, Yeah!

I've been thinking about the things that I want to do when raising a child, things that I consider right. Things like an appropriate amount of television and instilling good eating habits and exercise. You know, the sort of things I was hoping I wouldn't have to worry about, except to condemn myself for my own poor television, eating and exercise habits.

I started thinking about the things that my parents did, and no, I did not get on a self righteous, 'boy my parents fucked up' kick. But I did start thinking about Kool-Aid, that fake fruity, chemical filled beverage. I have not had Kool-Aid in many a year so I'm not sure how it is packaged now, but it used to come in little envelopes that mom would mix with sugar and water for a tasty treat. It may be that I just have a severe case of mistrust when it comes to the products that corporate America pushes out to us, but I sort of wonder how the idea of Kool-Aid seems like a good one to adults. I mean a powdered beverage, that tastes nothing like the fruit it is to be imitating, that can sit on a shelf for damn near ever... Doesn't logically seem like a healthy thing to constantly bribe your kids into good behavior with. Why not juice? I can only assume that the price has something to do with it.

A little bit of research has shown that the original six flavors were:
Cherry, Grape, Lemon-Lime, Turquoise, Raspberry and Strawberry.

Turquoise, by the way, not a flavor. Unless it's the flavor of the gemstone of the same name, but I cannot imagine that this would make for a tasty child's beverage.

And let's talk about the Kool-Aid Man for a second. He was a big, glass pitcher with arms and legs and a face. I don't want to get into a Dane Cook thing here, but on the Saturday morning commercials he would crash through your wall every time a kid drank Kool-Aid.

I think this helped with my strange fascination with spokes-things that are made up of solid colors and black outlines for faces (see also Mr. Yuck).

They have now totally duded up the Kool-Aid Man with shorts and beach wear to keep up with today’s "extreme" kids.

Like Spicoli, but filled with better tasting chemicals.

So I'm thinking about not keeping as much Kool-Aid around as was provided to me as a kid. I've also been thinking about a good place to store some of the more questionable movies in my collection for a few years. But honestly, what with the weather getting all hot and things, and thinking about a big, condensation covered pitcher of sugar water, I could sort of go for a big glass of Turquoise. That and a peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwich. And a nap.