Peek-A-Boo

Okay, I didn't want to use this blog for baby stuff, didn't want to get into that all-baby talk that some parents assume is just as fascinating to the rest of the world as it is to them. But...

We went and got a sonogram yesterday. There is an actual baby inside that bump on Biffy's stomach. There are hands and feet and a freaking spine, which all things considered is a good thing, but seems a little freaky when you realize they are up inside your wife.

I was doing fine watching this fetus flicker on the screen, it all seemed a little unreal - as does this whole fatherhood thing by the by. It wasn't until we saw the brain, the two hemispheres of the brain, and the pumping heart that I got a little overwhelmed. Not in a "holy shit, I don't know how to be a dad" way, but in a "holy shit, I helped make that" kind of way. I just sat there as still as possible, barely breathing, feeling tears come.

One of the ways I've been able to sort of deal with this rationally and without taking a one way trip to Tierra Del Fuego, is to compare it to the reproduction of plants. I don't know, bringing myself down to the level of plant life makes me realize that this thing isn't a bigger deal than what we are built to do. But seeing all of these body parts... And a face!

It made me realize how amazing this is, us and plants. It made me think of our little critter all wrapped up in a mini-ocean in there, and I wondered if they would eventually have the same love of the sea that I do. It made me realize that there were so many things I couldn't wait to show them, so many people I couldn't wait to introduce them to.

Pretty wild...