Ain't It Strange That I Can Dream

If I had the power to travel back in time (and I'm working on it good people, I'm fairly sure the key is microwaves) and talk to my 13 year old self, my 13 year old self would be shocked and dismayed to hear me say what I want to tell him. He would shake his head furiously, throw out his hands as if warding off some profane beast and say, "it's not true" over and over - probably throwing in a "dude" from time to time.

I have officially seen too many vaginas on video. And the last few had babies coming out of them.

Yeah, I knew going into it that I was gonna see 'the video' in our birthing class, and I've seen similar footage before, but it was fairly amazing that 35 years of media and societal manipulation was wiped out so quickly; things went from sexy to scientific in about 35 seconds.

Relax, I'm exaggerating. It's still sexy, it was just a tad unnerving to see a part of the body that is typically deemed as not proper for the masses to be so proudly on display - and as noted, with babies coming out of them.

It had already been decided that when the time comes, I was going to stay above the DMZ when the baby is introduced into the world, so I wasn't worried about that aspect. And even if I was down there with goggles and a catcher's mitt, I probably wouldn't be worried about it. What I'm concerned about now though, after the class, is watching the woman I love go through what could be a lot of hours of serious pain and me not being able to do anything about it.

We were practicing labor positions in the class, things to do that might make Bif more comfortable and things I can do to assist. I was making inappropriate jokes, as I will do, and making her laugh. She informed me that when labor actually strikes, she is not going to be in the mood for my stupidity, so now I have to be concerned about that as well.

But what I got most out of the class, other than a very uncomfortable feeling watching the teacher shove a doll over and over again through the pelvis bone of some poor sap who donated their body to science, was the flood of emotion that comes when that baby enters the world. As I mentioned yesterday, I was tearing up watching these people go through this sort of elation I don't completely understand yet. When the time comes for me, I'm gonna be a fucking wreck.


Rocktober song of the day: Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.