Operators Are Standing By

Are your demons flabby and listless? Do your demons get winded walking to the refrigerator to make another peanut butter and butter sandwich? Is one or more of your demons close to blindness or losing a foot from their obesity related illnesses?

Then exercise your demons on the newly enhanced Exorbike!

Redesigned with today’s demons in mind, all parts are forged in the eternal fires of hell. New properties make the seat and hand grips flame retardant and practically immune to the abuse of otherworldly pus drippings. The peddles come with a special "cloven hoof" attachment.

Check out the raves from these satisfied customers!

"Some people may think it's vain, but I want to look my sexiest when I'm reminding Shirley of her abusive childhood. I was tired of seeing all that flab when I caught my reflection in the mirror. And now I just feel hot! Look out clubs, here I come!" - Azreal P.

"I have a pretty sedentary type job, you know? I just figured that as long as I'm sitting on my gigantic, scaled ass, I can ride a stationary bike as well. This way I can get in shape, still watch The View and keep up on my job of shouting out reminders, 'you love coke, you love coke.' It's awesome." - Beazelruger F.

"The strain of simply rolling over onto my right side when the left side of my body went to sleep caused me to pass out on at least four occasions. I realized it might be time to get a little movement in my routine. The Exorbike has given me a new lease on life, and a ton more energy. So much energy that I'm pushing old Theo to suicide with the constant reminders of his deviant sexual desires. Whatever, he's a sick fuck." - Lester K.

Remember, the Exorbike makes a great gift for Mother's Day! Order today!