Why Not Wear Traffic Cones

Because I’ve now been trained by the ridiculous calls I take everyday, I will ask a question that I’m really not interested in the answer for. This question, in a roundabout way, has something to do with the point I am going to try to make after receiving the answer.

Is anybody’s favorite color fluorescent green?

I have to guess that the sheer volume of people clamoring for all things fluorescent green is, frankly, low. (See, I had no interest in how you answered that question. I’m just going to bulldoze through my ridiculous point as if your non-answer only strengthens my argument.)

This is what happens to you when working a customer relations gig by the way…

So, I saw this girl walking down the street. She had long pale white dread/braid things for hair (much like those ghost twins in Matrix 2). That’s fine, that’s cool even – the kicker is she had fluorescent green material weaved into those pale white braids.

Seriously! Why not just walk down the street with a bullhorn shrieking, “Hey! Look at me!”

I have.

But c’mon, we’re talking about putting a color in your hair that is normally reserved for warning people or alerting them to something, rarely (late 90’s specifically) is it used for a fashion statement. If it was your favorite color I could kind of get it, but as I pointed out so brilliantly with question number 1, I find it difficult to believe that girl hearts glo-green.

I almost asked her if she needed that much attention, but I was too busy swinging my dick at oncoming traffic to get people looking at me new pants.