Cosby Would Cringe

I’ve always had this in the back of my mind since I was a kid. I’ve always held onto it, and it will occasionally bubble up to conscious thought from time to time:

I want to swim in a pool filled with pudding.

Not to eat it or anything, I just want to dive into all of that thick squishiness. I want to work really hard to fling myself down to the bottom and back up again, pushing my body through all that clinging, heavy, snot-like “fluid”.

I imagine chocolate when I see this in my head, thousands of gallons of chocolate pudding. And this might be cool ‘cause I could pretend that I’m drowning in mud. But honestly, butterscotch would work just as well, even freakin’ vanilla.

If I become obscenely rich through some fluke, I’m totally going to do this.


Song Stuck In My Head Right Now: Renaissance Pleasure Faire by Dieselhed