Reach The Beach

I welcomed in 2006 from a cabin/house on Orcas Island that had a disturbing number of heron artifacts in and around it. For those of you who are not sure what an Orcas Island is, it is one of the San Juan islands in the North Puget Sound, not far from Canada – a fact that was driven home when we could see Canada from the “beach” that will come into play later.

Oh, it was nice. It was relaxing. There was a hot tub, there was a sauna (where I pushed my macho, heat and sweat resistance fantasies to their utmost), there was enough alcohol to bring down Luxembourg.

While there were a large number of happy, fun times this weekend with Mandy and Jason, I want to talk about the moment that could have landed me in whatever passes for an emergency room on an island in the winter.

We were done up. Sobriety was impaired in the same way that squirrels mowed down by a semi on the freeway are impaired. The walk down to the jumbled and massive rocks that made up our “beach” seemed like a good idea – I mean Jason had a headlamp. Jason scrambled down to the water’s edge and said, excitedly, that there was a way down, to stay low and go to the left. Again, Jason had a headlamp.

I neither stayed low nor went to the left, I stayed high and went to the right. While I was busy thinking this was not a good idea, my foot (expecting to come down on another slippery rock) came down inside a hole between slippery rocks. I went down like a Long Island prom queen.

I quickly checked things to make sure I was not broken, and I scrambled back up to solid ground in a way that I’m sure resembled Brody the cat scrambling away from something that has scared him. I did not realize until I was a good twenty yards away that my glasses had been thrown from my face. With Jason’s help – again, he had a headlamp – the glasses were found and we stumbled back up to the house, my sprained finger throbbing and plumping as if doused in venom lip gloss.

I have not been able to stop thinking about what could have happened: Broken leg, broken head, broken teeth, glass in hand at time of fall shattering in hand, getting knocked out and having to be dragged up the hill…

I would like to think I have learned my lesson about stupid, dangerous activities under the influence, but I doubt it.

More to follow…