The decollator is a machine that is used to quickly and efficiently separate multi-part paper. You put your pile in the middle of the machine, begin the separation yourself by putting half of the pile on one arm of the machine, the other on the other, turn on the machine and you my friend are decollating. It is a machine that was hot shit in offices round about ’73.
Now, I can imagine the bliss that those poor, overworked secretaries back in the day felt when printers and copiers were finally programmed to collate pages. I had never imagined however that there would be a need for the pensive yin of decollating to collation’s festive yang.
There is really very little use for this machine anymore as most companies no longer rely on hard copy reports printed on 6 part paper; most companies that don’t fear the new that is.
While this machine is somewhat like the human appendix (fairly useless and liable to blow if you don’t look out), and was a terrible pain in the ass quite often, I had sweet moments of zen-like clarity using it. I would get the machine humming at a good rhythm and watch that paper rise from the middle and fall in new colors to each side, waving like water breaking over the bow of a boat.
And, I always thought that Decollator would be a great name for a band.
Song Stuck In My Head Right Now: Troubled Soul by Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter
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