Heavy Into Scratch N' Sniff

I had a few scratch and sniff books when I was a kid. I remember a Sesame Street Scratch and Sniff Choose Your Own Adventure book where snuff film makers were trying to get Grover. No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up getting Grover killed on film and his body stuffed in a scratch and sniff Oscar the Grouch trashcan.

I also remember stickers given out by congratulatory teachers that I horded like a scratch and sniff miser. I remember Pledge-like lemon, and candy grape, and root beer. But I also remember getting the occasional oddball one like gasoline, skunk and dead fish. I remember thinking that this was AMAZING technology.

And it kind of is...

Scratch and sniff magic relies on the technology of microencapsulation, which captures odor generating chemicals in microscopic pockets of gelatin or plastic. Every time you scratch, you break open these tiny bubbles, these tiny jars of smell.

This makes me think about cracking my back and breaking open tiny jars of LSD that have been encaspulated there. Suddenly these cubicle walls would come loose of their stuck ways and start swimming in cascading patterns; Mr. Fuzzy Brown Shoes would say, "hello"...

But honestly, someone should look into a line of Scratch and Sniff classics for adults: Scratch and Sniff The Sun Also Rises, Scratch and Sniff Wuthering Heights, Scratch and Sniff Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Scratch and Sniff Bible.