Ask This...

Do not Ask Jeeves the following question:
If you fill up a swimming pool with tortilla chips, would you be able to walk across it?

You will not get an answer that you like. You will not get an answer that remotely addresses the question you asked.

Secretly, I hold in my brain the idea that there's some outlandish question that, when posed to the Ask Jeeves website, acts as a key to a world of information that has been hidden from all of us. It's like some Masonic or Opus Dei type conspiracy; a large room of web monkeys just waiting for the right question to pass on the knowledge.

If it's below freezing outside and you fart, can someone see a steam cloud come out of your ass, like your breath?

This is also not the question that opens this magical door.

Hold on, I'm making a tight tangent turn here. Can you hear the cyberspace tires squealing? (Again, not the question)

While this not only shows that I have seen The Lost World: Jurassic Park more times than is healthy, but it also has nothing to do with what I have already written today. In The Lost World, Dr. Ian Malcolm (played with ultimate Jeff Goldblum-ity by Jeff Goldblum) once again meets the children that were with him during the first amusement park tragedy. The kids, excited to see him, run down the stairs calling, "Dr. Malcolm!" Okay, these people have been through a major ordeal together where cloned dinosaurs have tried to eat them - EAT THEM. If nothing else is gonna do it, you would think that this little adventure would put these people on a first name basis with each other.

You all be safe out there today, I worry.


Song Stuck In My Head Right Now: **** (Jungle Law) by Love & Rockets