piouspeter@hmail.com

Peter had signed up for Christian online dating as a reaction to all the spam emails he got. For a couple of weeks, there was a new one in his mailbox daily; "Meet and Date Other Christians". The spam for erectile medications at cheaper prices or Michelle and Sarah looking for a "fckbddy" were bad enough, but spamming for Christian online dating just seemed particularly sleazy. And yes Peter realized now that what he had done was very reactionary, but at the time the idea had made him laugh.

Peter began cruising the site for ladies in his area. He would date them a couple of times and then work in earnest to convert the ladies away from the church. The first one had been remarkably easy, as if she had just been looking for a reason to go running to Buddhism. After that it became a bit of an addiction. He loved a challenge, and the ones that were particularly hard to break just felt like a bigger victory; against what he wasn't sure. The breaking point for a devout young lady named Shelly was when he performed his John the Baptist routine which a dominatrix had taught him. The last time he saw her she was peddling tarot fortunes and wearing a lot of leather.

He was subtle about what he was doing, never tipping his hand. But apparently word started getting around about this internet interloper, preying on trustworthy Christian ladies online. He first heard about it from one of his marks. She slyly asked if he was the Godless heathen turning the lambs of God away from their righteous path. He played it off, but inside felt like some kind of hell bent rock star.

He began to learn that some of these online singles were actively seeking him out, either to test their faith or to add some sense of danger to their lives. Even if he managed to convert them away, he still kept his identity hidden like some sort of blasphemous super hero. By his own accounts, he had about a 65% success rate in conversions.

He was contemplating giving up the life after one last attempt at conquest - victoria@hotforjesus.com. He set up the date, met her at a restaurant and studied her for ways inside while he sipped wine and listened to her talk about her youth church camp.

But then things began to get fuzzy.

When Peter awoke, he was strapped inside a van, surrounded by eight ladies - all with crucifix necklaces. Normally this would be fantasy worthy, but the unspoken looks being bounced around between the passengers led him to believe rumors he had heard from his past ladies, rumors of conversion camps in the deep forests of the south.