Codename: Tea Wrecks

When you're at work, typing away on your keyboard, do you ever pretend that you’re hacking a particularly difficult computer mainframe?

Do you pretend that your whiles, your intelligence, your skills will get you past the network security systems and into that particular file which will give you the information that you need, the information that may very well save the world?

Do you then pretend that the security forces are after you and the only way to cover up your tracks is to win a game of solitaire to throw them off of your trail?

And when you have that necessary information, do you fantasize about transferring it to some innocuous item to transfer it out of the building? Like maybe downloading it to a Rubik's cube? And then you can mess up the Rubik's cube and the only way to get the information out is to solve said Rubik's cube - in the safety of your underground location.

And then you can take the information to the proper authorities and bring down the awful corporation responsible for the murder of children and puppies, responsible for the degradation of the American way of life. But then you find out that the people you yourself work for have sold off the information that you have struggled for so that they could have a larger slice of the pie, and that they have caused an influx of bad corporate music, hackneyed and formulaic romantic comedies and a proliferation of feminine hygiene products?

Do you then begin gathering and arming your rag tag forces, training them into a skilled army, high on fumes of righteous indignation and household cleaners in an attempt to begin Armageddon?

Me either.