a) Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band.
b) I often like things grouped in threes, fives or tens.
c) Empathized for a moment with formerly famous New Kid on the Block Joey McIntyre. It's gotta be tough to have the world love you one day and then be a has-been the next.
d) Remembered a dream I had where I looked around our small and moldering San Francisco apartment on the day we were moving out, only to find a door I'd never noticed in the bathroom which led to a ginormous other apartment we could have been living in the whole time.
e) Reaffirmed my beliefs that Paris Hilton is an ugly twat.
f) Forgot to worry about West Nile Virus. And SARS. And Avian Bird Flu. Oh, and killer bees.
g) I love that scene in Videodrome when they rearrange his "programming" by putting a videotape inside of James Woods' vaginal belly slit.
h) There are no opening titles to Apocalypse Now, the name of the movie appears painted on a wall in Kurtz's compound.
i) Worried that the computer was maliciously changing my documents on me.
j) The term 'quadratic equation'.
The amount of useless brain chatter is truly shocking. And it makes me wear this sort of embarrassed grin knowing that I'm consistently feeding this little gibbering mind monkey with useless crap. Not that doing my work requires this, but trying to settle your mind down to quiet is exhausting, if not downright near impossible sometimes. Since we're all just organic computers anyway (something that film maker David Cronenberg explores in a way that really gets to me by the way), I kind of wish we had a big trash can icon in our heads. I could drag stuff that I would like never have repeat on me like a meal chock full of bad dairy. Do I really want to delete the entire Journey catalogue?
Yes, a big resounding yes.
But then, even as I'm thinking about this, a little bubble pops and lets out a nervous little voice like a sigh, "someday, you might want those memories". So even if I had this trashcan ability, my own neurosis regarding distrust of machines and regret would probably keep me from using it.
4 comments:
Some say that meditation helps with this. Personally, I have never been able to find the time to meditate, which might just be my problem.
However, I have found a few alternate things which do help alleviate the constant banter in my brain:
1. Working in a woodshop. Nothing quite like the immenant danger of cutting off ones fingers off to make you focus on the task at hand. Plus: sanding wood is very calming.
2. Riding my motorcycle. I think the immenant danger-theory still applies here too, however, with all the things one is required to accomplish at the same time, it stands to reason that the brain is so busy thinking, it doesn't have time to... think about different things. (Bonus: I wonder if playing the drums would have the same effect?)
I would throw Cronenberg in my mental trashcan. "Vaginal belly slit," Billy. You said it. He gives me the creeps like no one else. Well maybe like that guy at State who used to walk around wearing big headphones and shorts and tube socks, with an inexplicably perpetually sunburnt face (oh man, was he huffing? that would explain a lot. i was too virtuous and naive back then to recognize the signs), laughing hysterically and sitting in on my James Joyce class.
Oh. I need to throw him in my mental trashcan, apparently. Or start huffing!!!!!!
xo
I was rearranging things on the top shelf of the linen closet the other day. I decided it wasn't how I wanted it and thought . . . CTRL Z
just as i was falling asleep last night i noticed all the random things my mind was processing...something to do with jail, roofies, lettuce and a fat lady. somehow my brain was making all that into a little film for me to watch while i fell asleep.
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