Reports are sketchy, but apparently a roving pack of lemurs have taken over a 7-11 in Costa Mesa, CA. Initial reports show that there are at least 112 of them scurrying around the unkempt aisles, seeming to keep mainly to the candy and automotive sections of the store.
“What the hell are these little fuckers doing off of Madagascar?” a 7-11 employee (who chose to remain nameless) asked. “It’s like some sort of crazy, lemur party.”
Crazy, lemur parties, while rare, are not unheard of. In February of 1969 there was an unsubstantiated report of a rowdy pack of lemurs swarming a library in Düsseldorf. Franz Von Hungrig stated at the time that it was, “really more a soiree than an out and out party”. Still, he apparently felt the need to drive out the lemurs with a rake in one gloved hand and a raving wombat in the other. “Once they get in, they take over. Mark my words,” he said.
One customer of the Costa Mesa store appears to be quite shaken. “Have you seen their eyes man? Spooky shit! I just came in to get some smokes, and the place is crawling with these little monkey rats!”
The animals in question do appear to be ring-tailed lemurs. As of now there have been no signs of any slow lorises. We will keep you posted as events unfold.
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