I'm Sixteen All Over Again

I had big plans, big plans I tell you. I was going to get up early and get my hair cut and spend a large chunk of the day at the computer working on the novel that is floating around like a fragile little embryo in my head. But…

I woke up feeling a little not so well. I crashed out on the couch for awhile, just resting, but then I ended up side tracking myself by going crazy about the state of the living room. I mean how did I go this long without sweeping the floor for Christ’s sake? Well a cleaning frenzy ensued. The next thing I knew it was late afternoon and Biffy was asking when the hell I was going to get my hair cut.

So the thing is, I had spent all day in the apartment and when I went outside for the first time at 4ish I felt so weird and out of place. I felt like everybody was watching me and shouting with their eyes, “get thee back inside, you do not belong here”. I don’t know what my problem was, but I hate that feeling. It reminded me of being back in high school and being way hyper obsessed with what everybody can possibly be thinking about me, and how I look, and what I’m wearing, and the way that I am walking, and the pace of my breathing. I sat down in the barber chair and let some strange man’s hands rubbing my head calm me down.

I’m okay now, it’s cool.