Unless you walk in with a friend, and are trying to be funny - and sometimes, not even then - it is never (let me be really, pristinely, fucking clear here), EVER cool to grunt in a public restroom.
I don't care if your fucking in the stall. I don't care if you're finally crapping for the first time in seven days. I don't care if you've subsisted on a strict diet of broken glass and tacks and have hemorrhoids the size of small dogs to avoid down there.
I don't care if you've seen the holy light of god, and the infinite has seen fit to fill your fragile mind with the knowledge of the universe, and you and your people have been raised for generations to express your most supreme joy by sounding like some sort of rutting, hog-like animal...
Don't do it, don't grunt in a public restroom.
At home? Grunt it up, monkey face! Make yourself a grunt song. Recite the Gettysburg address with a wince, long low tones and words apparently spelled with only N's or M's. Just keep that sick shit out of a respectable men's room.
Seriously.
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