Is That General Tsao's Chicken?

The super power that I would choose for today, would be the ability to change my scent.

Now this is just for today mind you, the practicality of this “super power” is, well, slim to none; it’s no x-ray vision or being able to fly. And frankly, the ability to stop mastermind criminals is also pretty limited. Unless I was able to change my scent to rotting flesh left in a box in 100 degree heat that would be so overbearing that the super villain had do double over and dry heave, thus causing them to drop the bags of money they had stolen that have big $’s on them.

But I was thinking more along the lines of changing my smell to that of an ocean breeze, or fresh mowed grass, or scratch-n-sniff lemon. In fact, I could become an ever changing scratch-n-sniff patch, a human Glade Plug-in!

Some smells that I’d really love to be able to toss out of my pours for a day (as opposed to my normal soap-masked Billy funk) are:

Beer
Cedar
Chinese Food (not that cheap greasy shit, but good garlicky, black-beaney stuff)
Cold Sand
Gasoline
French Fries
Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon
Old Books
Purple
Scotch Tape
Bananas (just before they’re banana bread material)
Freshly Vacuumed Carpet

Honestly, I think the most fun would be to make people close to me think they’re having a stroke when I throw out the smell of oranges or burnt toast… I’m honestly not really super hero material.