Someone opened the door last night, and I stormed the gates with a vengeance. I hate Journey. Man I hate ‘em. Hearing one of their songs makes me want to put forks in my eyes and set them on fire.
I told my coworkers that if I were able to build a time machine, I would go back in time and kill Steve Perry when he was six years old, either by hiring someone to do it or by “accidentally” shoving him into a cage of pit bulls, so that the world can be spared the horror that is Journey.
- I was asked if I would go back in time to kill Steve Perry over killing Hitler and I said yes. I was kidding though. I would go back in time, kidnap Steve Perry, and use his supple body to kill Hitler. –
Okay, I grew up at a time when Journey Escape was the biggest thing since… I don’t know, some other shitty band’s big fucking record. I didn’t like it then when it was overblown to the point of a videogame being based on the album cover, and it certainly hasn’t aged well. I mean no one roller skates to power ballads anymore.
My comments were met with legitimate shock. My coworkers couldn’t believe that someone could hate Journey, let alone with the sort of vehemence that I was displaying. “They invented the power ballad!”, they said. No folks, KISS invented the power ballad, get a grip.
And they’re good people, they are, but as they are Journey fans, they must be smote.
Especially since I can already see it in their shiny little eyes – a Christmas copy of Journey’s Greatest Hits.
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1 comment:
i'd rather hear journey than swim in diarrhea, but i'd rather crawl through a cockroach tunnel with no air than hear steely dan or the fucking eagles..ugh..
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