Lap Dissolve

I walk down the street and catch the furtive glances of people and feel like somehow they know the history, there is an air of envy, a soft spoken look in the eyes that I have been healed.

This makes me think of a conversation with Christy and Matthew about something Chris had said and I go a little dizzy thinking about all the seemingly random connections and the complicated chain of events that led me to San Francisco to begin with. And I think, that at the moment before I die, I will remember everyone I ever met and remember everything ever said to me, and I will see the connections there and how it all fits together, and I will know that all the torment and worry throughout this life were a monumental waste of time.

Expecting people that don't belong here, looking for someone through a time fuzzy overlay and wanting to cry at how easy it is to get lost in that space between those layers. I feel like San Francisco is a city built on the shining promises of thousands of broken dreams, on the sheer balls to surf that light and smile. Seattle feels like the second to last refuge of a wanderlust soul, too petulant to realize itself as a safe harbor for the outcast.

I feel like I'm at home, I feel like I could travel forever.